Sunday, June 13, 2010

White Roses




Ever done something that you truly believed in your heart was the best decision, but maybe overreacted and did something hasty, or (dare I say it?) stupid? Well, that is how I started the day on Friday. In the course of those actions, I hurt a dear friend that I love very much. While I worried and stewed about that decision during the course of the day, I got a phone call from Mikaela, crying "I don't wanna come home. I want to stay with Daddy." Ugh! If you are in any way involved in custody, adoption, or divorce issues, you know how much that can hurt, even though our kids don't mean to be hurtful. A couple of hours later, Mikaela came home, but not without difficulties from her dad, which ended with a 911 call. In the meantime, I watched the minutes tick away, putting me later and later to my arrival at the Single Mother's Conference. By the time it all was said and done, I wanted to kick my shoes off, order pizza, and lock the door. However, I knew I would get something amazing out of the conference, and that Mikaela and I had both been looking forward to it since last year's conference. So I sucked up my tears and went. I barely arrived as they were ushering ladies into the auditorium to start. As I hurried to the door where I knew I would receive a flower (they give each mom one every year), I said a silent prayer "Jesus, please calm me and set my mind at ease to enjoy this conference." When I got to the door, the lady said "Choose a rose, hon." There were two lovely peach buds, both pretty but barely open. Then I saw it - as if the skies opened and the "Hallelujah Chorus" played - A perfect white rose, my favorite flower in the whole world, opened to the height of its beauty. "I'll take the white one," I said audibly, while silently smiling "Thanks, Jesus."

I did have a fantastic weekend at the conference - cried, laughed, learned, prayed. I still wish I could unhurt my friend or wish Mikaela didn't miss her dad so much. I still cringe at the thought of her leaving to visit him for 2 weeks straight, during which time we have our custody hearing. But when I look at the rose in a vase on my table, I am reminded that Jesus sees and cares about all those things. And that He even cares about the little things.

Will you see the "white roses" in your life? Will you pray for them? They are reminders that Jesus loves you so much! He sees and cares!