Someone to come home to

It has been well over a year since I’ve posted anything here, but I’m hoping for that to change.  It is my current goal to write once a week and see how well I can keep up with it.  Thanks for reading, and enjoy!

Someone to Come Home to

Before I even knew what the term “hopeless romantic” meant, I was one.  I loved love stories, beautiful dresses, and bridal magazines.  I wanted to get married and be a stay-at-home mom.  For the most part, that dream never changed.  I never wanted to be a “career woman” or always working and missing my family’s life.

Fast forward to August 2012, where I am a single (divorced) mom working 2 jobs while my daughter stays with my parents.  What the heck happened?  This was NOT the plan!  Life happened.  Someone made a choice that changed my whole life and caused me to make a series of difficult but necessary choices.

I come home every day to my daughter, sister, 2 dogs, and my mom, who acts as my mentor, babysitter, and spouse until further notice.  We laugh, eat, talk, and cry; it’s wonderful, and I love it.  But at some point, the evening must end.  MK and I must go to our house.  Some days, I am so tired and hot and wanting to get home that I don’t think about it anymore.  Other days, I put off going home because I so hate being alone, especially after MK goes to bed.  The other day, though, I had a thought I’d never had before.  As we turned at the light (yes, the only one!) to go down Main Street to our house, my heart ached with the knowledge that no one was there.  I knew that I’d open the door, unload the car, get MK to bed, and settle in for the evening.  I knew that I’d watch some TV, read, get ready for bed, and get in bed.  Alone.  By myself.  Without a spouse.  “God!” I cried silently, “I want someone to come home to!”  He whispered, quietly in my spirit, “Are you a person that someone else wants to come home to?”

I suddenly realized that, in waiting to see if I will ever again have someone to share my life with in the spousal role, I’ve never thought whether someone wanted to come home to me.  Although I am unmarried, I share my life with several people on a daily basis:  my parents, sister, daughter, boss, coworkers.  Am I reflecting Jesus’ love to those around me?  Am I testifying of His unfailing favor to those who don’t know Him?  Am I trying to say, do, and be the best I can?

I don’t know whether God will allow me the privilege of being married again.  But I do know that I have a beautiful daughter looking to me for protection, provision, and example.  She is watching me to see how I react and whether I have answers for the questions of life.  My hope is that while I wait to see what God has for my future, I can, with His help, be someone that anyone would want to come home to.