A couple weeks ago, I had an intense, awkward, frustrating
confrontation with someone very important to me. I was in a position where I could and needed
to walk away, and I did. The anger built
up inside me, though, and I wanted so badly to spew out what I was thinking and
feeling. Honestly, I think I was right
and probably would’ve been in the right for saying something, but not in the
frame of mind I had. I literally felt as
though the Holy Spirit was supernaturally holding my mouth closed as I left
that place.
As I fumed on the way home, I also felt proud that I walked
out without saying anything. Suddenly, I
heard God speak to me: You’re no
better. Yes, you did the right thing by
keeping your mouth shut and walking away, but you’re a sinner, just the same.
This is just one of many things recently that God has used
as He has been dealing with me heavily about compassion the past couple of
months. It really started to tug deeply
at my heart after the shooting in Aurora, Colorado. Several of my facebook friends made posts and
comments regarding the alleged shooter that bothered me. While the media spent hours of coverage
interviewing, speculating, and discussing what made this man do what he did,
many Christians spent those same hours criticizing him and saying what he
deserved and where he could go.
It broke my heart because I couldn’t help thinking, “If not
for God’s grace, I could’ve easily been a mass murderer.” Going through some of the trials I have in
the past few years has, unfortunately, brought out some of my poorer
qualities. One of these is my
temper. I’ve always been overly
sensitive and quick to get offended or angry.
God is working with me on it and through it, but it isn’t easy. When going through a divorce and custody
battle, I had thoughts I couldn’t believe were happening in my own head. When judges ruled things that didn’t make any
sense to me, I understood why, humanly speaking, people go rogue and take
matters into their own hands. I realized
how stress, anger, exhaustion, and rejection can make people perform acts that
surprise everyone who knows them.
Over the last couple of months, God has been reminding me
over and over again that in his eyes, I am the same as the alleged Colorado
shooter. I am a sinner who has broken
God’s law and deserves hell. I am not
more deserving of blessings or less deserving of punishment. And as a recipient of God’s grace and mercy
in my life, I believe I am compelled to show compassion to others, especially
those who may have never heard or may never hear anywhere else that Jesus loves
them.
I do NOT think that compassion means letting people get away
with wrongdoing or giving them a free pass.
I believe we all have to face the consequences of our choices, good and
bad, big and small. I DO think
compassion can be offering a kind word, holding back a sarcastic comment,
choosing to walk away rather than having an anger outburst. Perhaps compassion is sacrificing your “fun
money” to help a friend who’s having a hard time or whose child needs school
clothes. Maybe compassion is taking time
out of your way-too-busy schedule to call, write, or email a friend whom you
know is down or struggling.
What does compassion look like in your life? Remember, you’re just as undeserving, but God
has shown compassion to you! Pass it on!
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