Captivating? Me? (Part One)

I was not part of the pretty or popular girls growing up. I made straight A's without studying, didn't go to movie theaters, didn't wear makeup or date, and had parents who were on staff at the church and Christian school. My dad was the principal and wanted any guy interested in me to go through him, and there were not really any takers. When I was 14, a guy I met in a different state wrote my dad and asked if he could correspond with me through letters, and my dad said "Yes." We wrote back and forth for a couple years, and once he even came to El Paso and met my parents. However, he made some bad choices and ended up going to jail for a while. My senior year of high school, I met Dustin, and he quickly showed an interest in pursuing me. I tried to hold him at bay because I was already enrolled in Pensacola Christian College in Pensacola, FL. However, my feelings changed quickly, and we began dating. Most of our relationship was long distance, as he went to a college in California.

At the age of 20, with an Associate's Degree in hand, I married him, feeling pursued, adored, worshipped even, but I don't think truly beautiful. In the first 18 months of our marriage, I had gained quite a bit of weight, and I gained a lot more once I became pregnant with Mikaela. The week before she was born, on our second wedding anniversary, our apartment burned down. I was so devastated and traumatized, and I often wonder what would have happened to me if I had not had Mikaela to take care of. However, I could easily see and recognize God's Faithful Hand of protection and provision. It took me a long time to get over what had happened, though, and I had nightmares about it for over a year. In 2006, I began online classes for medical transcription, to "refresh" what I had learned for my degree and aim towards working at home. I felt happy with life and loved being a stay-home mom to my beautiful baby girl, but often had low self-esteem because of the extra baby weight that I struggled to lose.