Happy New Year

Wow! 2010 is here already?! I remember when I graduated from high school in 2000 (yes, I am that young! haha), and I wasn't worried about Y2K or anything like that. I just remember how cool I thought it was to be graduating in the beginning of the millennium. Because Dustin and I were homeschooled and had our own graduation ceremony, lots of people made jokes about us walking down the aisle together, but in a different way! I remember thinking "Wouldn't it be weird if you 10-year reunion was us, but as a married couple?" Well, Funny story - it still won't be! It will now be me a single mom and him as the happy, newly married "Father of the Year." Ah, well. I have really been feeling beaten down the last few days, very much in hibernation mode, and I think it is because today is Dustin's birthday. Even if I don't dwell on those kind of things, I can't help it - dates stick in my head! And the fact that Mikaela is gone this weekend makes it all the more difficult.

I was thinking though, as it came to New Year's last week: What GOOD things happened in my life in 2009? Yes, it was hell on earth, a hell I still feel will never be over because things continue to be in an uproar; but what did God do that is real, tangible? My first obvious answer was "Got me through the year of hell," for I know many days His giving me breath and a beating heart was the only reason I survived the day. Second, and hugely unforgettable, is God leading me to the Singles' class at Council Road. When I knew God was leading me to a different church, there were things that He had been putting into place for over a year that I never knew would climax in my becoming part of the group and the church. No real choice to it - it just happened and I had complete peace about it. The people have loved and accepted me unconditionally, and guess what? They still do, even after knowing me for a year! :) Truth be told, they have been rocks of strength for me this year, and oftentimes, I have leaned on their faith when I just didn't have any!

Thirdly, I "remembered" that God allowed me to realize 2 important goals/plans I had wanted for my life, and didn't know exactly how they were going to work out - working from home as a medical transcriptionist and homeschooling my daughter. Every day, I am the courier for my boss, picking up and delivering the medical transcription/dictation, and Mikaela gets to go with me. I get to teach her basic courtesy principles in simple situations like elevators, holding doors for others, and money principles as well because she gets paid every time I do. Then we come home and she does her homeschool videos/papers in my room while I type. This was something I was wanting and planning to do long before the divorce, because having seen the benefits of homeschooling in my own life and family, I was excited to do that for my daughter. It has worked out better than I can imagine! She is learning to write in cursive, and is already reading 3- and some 4-letter words! It is indescribable to hear and see her excitement when she learns something new or gets an answer correct or reads blends and words on billboards we drive past. It is heartwarming and hilarious as she attempts to read much longer words and names, which of course, don't follow the phonics rules she has learned so far. It blows my mind to get to be part of her education every day, and to witness her growing and changing. I praise God that He allowed me to realize these personal dreams in a way that benefits my daughter also, and provides for us in the situation we find ourselves in.

Sorry for this long post, but I haven't written in a while, so I wanted to kind of catch up. Will close with this verse: Psalm 62:7-8 "In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times; ye people, pour out your hearts before Him: God is a refuge for us. Selah"